sean1664471 + Musician in Collinsville, IL

SEEKING

ABOUT

I'm looking for a female vocalist to perform various works I've written and covers. This includes gigging, about 4-10 times a month, depending on how much the band wants/needs to gig.

I also have a full production studio and video gear. The studio is by far the most equipped in the area. There are surely people out there with more money sunk into theirs, but mine gets major label deals with everything done in-house.

I do a lot of writing and recording. I'll work with any good writers or performers, and I play all the major instruments on a pro level, having label releases that solely featured myself on the tracks.
And I also write prose, serious stuff... and humorous:

THE BAND
A wise man once said, being in a band is like having 4 girlfriends, they're all bitches and none of them put out.

Alright, maybe he wasn't wise, and maybe he didn't even say that... the important thing is that it's being offered up for your consideration and it was ME... ahem.

If you've been in a band, you can understand this. The reason is that there are several inter-working dynamics within that band that make it SUCK LESS.
These dynamics are often tweaked as a band matures and progresses from one to another level, often ending in fisticuffs or “real jobs”... but there's always hope!

There are only about 4 reasons for a band to stay together... most of which are delusional. Additionally there are millions of reasons for them to break up; And they're all stupid!

Just ask Roger Waters and David Gilmour why after 40 some odd years they still deprive the world of one final Pink Floyd reunion... If you get the chance, prepare yourself... for they will revisit something really petty and inane that happened 20+ years ago and act as if it has some validity! ... people have offered them the sum total of a small nation's GNP for a single tour... but David still clings to the comment Roger made about his Nana.

Bassists... everything you've heard about bassists is true. They do the least and demand the most. They come last and leave first. They have freakishly long arms and smell of goat cheese. It's harder to land a supermodel than to get a great bassist in your band. If that isn't true, then why aren't there any supermodels that are great bassists? Think about it. Not one. You're better off staging your own version of Pygmalion, salvaging your bassist from a group home or compost heap, teaching them everything, and then trying to pass them off in high society as a real bassist... but then some TRIBUTE band will come along and steal them away just when they get good!

Lead guitar and Rhythm Guitar. One is a walking bundle of overcompensating, defensive, neurosis. The other is a walking identity crisis. Take your pick. Count the number of effect boxes they own, and subtract from their age. This is how many weeks you can expect them to stay in the band. In my case, I quit 20 weeks before I joined.

Lead singers have a lot of time on their hands. They don't play a chordal instrument and bore easily. They are in charge of one melody and as soon as they learn it, they go about unlearning it and being too cool to sing it right, because anybody can do that! Ever hear an R&B singer sing the national anthem? They often carry a prop guitar that isn't plugged in, to bolster their confidence and shield themselves from flying seat cushions.

If you are a lead guitar or singer, it's important to remember this one thing.

The names of the guys you play with.

I know! It sounds hard! But these guys have been staring at your ass all night, stewing in resentment... all they want is that one moment when you call them by their name and tell everyone what they do, (besides stare at your ass all night). Even a nickname will work, if you simply can't remember. "And on the harp... uhh... HARMONICA LEWINSKY... keepin' it real"... Sometimes nicknames are better. Nicknames, weed, and the occasional band groupie are the glue that keeps a band together.
If you thought money played a part, you're probably 14. Give a man a fish and you've fed him for one day. Poorly.
Give a man a groupie and you've got something that lasts a lifetime. Herpes.

Pianists. They really don't make these anymore, so unless you have one that was made before 1950, you probably have a KEYBOARD player. You will know them because their left hand has become shrunken and atrophied, often nothing more than a flipper holding a cigarette or reabsorbed into their bodies.

The malignant pus wart.
Somehow this guy is STILL there. Whether his mother bought all the gear, has a famous father, or an unlimited supply of weed... he has survived all previous tweaking and remains there for all to behold... reeking up the stage like GG Allen on ex-lax. I saw this many times in my years as a studio engineer. It's always an interesting story. Maybe... I never cared enough to ask.
Send him on a beer run and get someone in there to dub over his parts. Tell him he's great, and use his nickname. "You KILLED IT, Lee Harvey!"

The Drummer. This is the guy that bangs on things with sticks. 'nuff said.

It's interesting to note that the most common drum is a "snare" and a drum set is traditionally referred to as a "trap". For years I wanted to be a drummer, but I was "trapped" by my inability to hear rhythms and play them. I listened hard and eventually figured out what was going on. Then I was "trapped" by my lack of drums... so I beat on everything in sight, make believing I was behind a real set... This annoyed everyone in my family, so my parents bought me an actual drum set, so in all fairness I could annoy the neighbors as well. Suddenly, again, I was "trapped"... behind a crappy set of drums. So I got myself a decent set. Then I was "trapped" by my inability to adjust and maintain them properly. Finally I figured all of those things out and became a drummer. Then I was just Trapped. ...and snared. Now I play guitar, walk on my HIND legs and breathe with my mouth closed. It's been a journey.

Drummers are often frustrated and have a lot of problems; all self-inflicted. Drummers always have the largest case in the band. They live in them. If your drummer sings, hold on to him! A singing drummer is one of the wonders of nature!... like a dog that does your taxes, or a girl that sings and plays ANY instrument well... (change my mind!)

Unlike the bassists, the things you hear about drummers are mostly true. The Jokes however, 100% fact!
A lot of the drummers I recorded had one common issue: PLAYING THE DRUMS! Tempo, Technique and STAMINA... I don't care what they tell you, those are the only 3 rudiments... in drumming, life, love, groupies... and you're playing the song, NOT your drums... oh, AND swallow your spit!

If you understand all of these things, you may make use of this final kernel of wisdom.

DON'T CRAP ON THE BUS.

Screen name:

sean1664471

Member since:

Nov 30 2022

Active within 24 hours

Level of commitment:

Very Committed

Years playing music:

25

Gigs played:

Over 100

Tend to practice:

More than 3 times per week

Available to gig:

6-7 nights a week

Most available:

Nights

Instrument experience:

Other Percussion:

Expert

Background Singer:

Expert

Other:

Expert

Vocalist:

Expert

Vocalist - Tenor:

Expert

Rhythm Guitar:

Expert

Lead Guitar:

Expert

Acoustic Guitar:

Expert

Bass Guitar:

Expert

Drums:

Expert

Keyboard:

Advanced

Upright bass:

Advanced

Piano:

Moderate

Banjo:

Moderate

Dobro:

Moderate

EQUIPMENT

Guitar rigs, upright bass, 1965 prototype Fender Rhodes, Hammond organ with 10 various leslies for various uses, festival size PA, ACOUSTIC, hand percussion, electric bass, keys, guitar synth, fully stocked production studio with pro macs, tube mic pre's, 1963 Ludwig 6 piece, 1966 Roger's 5 piece dynasonic, lights, tons of mics, etc.1969 Fender Sparkle-top Rhodes,
Check out the first video below. I'm playing a 70s strat with vintage p/u's augnented wiith peizo ghost pickups and synth system, with 3-way line buffers that are mixable into a 16 pedal board, split between a 147 Leslie and a 1960 Magnatone Troubadour with day-glo paisley grill.
In the studio I play my own tracks exclusively. A number of the works that I have recorded have gone on to become major label releases. That is to say that I have put out national label recordings with pretty much just myself on the tracks.
When I was growing up I really didn't do much besides practice and play music, Record music, Collect music, And I also made a decent living as a vintage instrument collector and record collector.
My skills are lucrative in the sense that i'm an expert in restoration of a lot of vintage instruments that people have no clue how to restore.
I'm an expert piano and Hammond organ technician, But I also am hired to play and or repair or tech one any number of other instruments or disciplines.
I'm not trying to brag Or gloat... It's just the reality of the situation. My band that I've assembled from crack players around the area have backed up national acts and even done limited touring behind national acts.
There is much much more to this story... But only will tell so much to strangers, But I will tell a friend everything.